hello there, my second baby. my first son. it was at this time one year ago that i got to meet you for the first time. i spent a lot of my pregnancy with you worried about having enough room in my heart for you - i was already so in love with your sister and your father - but i think i was thinking about it the wrong way. while you were growing in there, making space for yourself and rearranging all of my organs, you were making space for my heart to grow. there's not less love for everyone, there's more room in my heart. and that's thanks to you, little dude.
trust me, i know it's not easy being a second child (we'll talk about this more in depth some other time). there's lots of times where you'd rather be playing with the cool big kid stuff, and you don't understand why there are just so many things that are not for you in our house - but i will tell you that when penny was little, she had to eat multi grain full of health waffles for breakfast, and you get chocolate chip. penny didn't see her first movie until she was a year and a half old, and you saw two when you were under a week. we will constantly be comparing you and trying to figure out whether you're hitting your Milo-stones (thanks, amanda!) before or after penny did, but you've got a great motivator and cheering section built right in.
i have been told over and over again how time speeds up as you get older, but i truly cannot believe that it has been a whole year since you were born. it seems like i blinked and you could sit up on your own. blinked again and you got your first tooth. blink, crawling, blink, walking. it's unreal. speaking of, there is still no reason a ten and a half month old baby should be walking. i will maintain this position forever.
you, my son, are full of so much joy. i love how you laugh until you quite literally fall over. i love that you find putting things on one's head to be a great joke. i love how you brighten up the days of everyone you see on our commute together. everyone comments on your giant blue eyes, your ridiculous gummy grin, and your even temperament. everyone on the train - from the bankers to the bikers - wants to play peek a boo with you, get a high five from you, and have you wave bye bye.
it won't be long until everything changes again. you are working very hard on talking (we know that all the time you spend saying "i did it" doesn't count). you are going to stop having bottles. you are going to begin feeding yourself with a spoon. some things, however, will stay the same. you are going to continue to give amazing hugs. you are going to be super excited to see penny at the end of the day. you are going to take every opportunity to bang on everything.
by this time next year, there is no doubt that you will be a little boy and not a toddler anymore. i cannot wait to take that journey with you. thank you for letting me be your mama, little buddy. i love you.
oh, and happy birthday.